So much is weighing on my mind lately. I wake up in the middle of the night - fists and jaw tightly clenched. This is when I visualize my happy place. A moment in time when everything was in its right place.
I find myself in Hawaii at dusk on the beach with my brand new husband. Sunburns radiating heat, snarly salty hair from a day of swimming in the ocean. Stomachs full from gorging ourselves on shrimp tacos and shaved ice. We sit perched on a stone wall watching the sun set over surfers trying to catch a last wave before nightfall.
So much uncertainty stretched out before us.
I go there in my mind from time to time. I imagine us returning someday. Wrinkled hands holding each others' in an old familiar way. Laughing to ourselves about all of the worrying that we did.
How funny, we thought that we could control the things that kept us up at night.