April 16, 2013
Two years ago at this very moment, I was getting ready to be his bride. The whole thing felt surreal. We had waited for this for so long, yet nothing could have prepared us for the whirlwind that was our wedding day.
Sometimes I like to reflect on the feeling of a specific moment. What emotions were actually pulsing through my body while I applied my makeup for the supposedly biggest day of my life? Did I understand the full weight of it or did the ritual of getting ready take over?
The ceremony. Did someone else carry my legs down the aisle? Was I sure to make eye contact with Jake as he stood there waiting? Did I kiss him like I meant it? I can't really be sure. I'd like to think that I did all of those things. That I lived our wedding day with intention, conscious of my actions.
What I do know, is that our wedding has been just one day of our now two year marriage. A great one at that, but not the single most defining moment we've spent together in my mind. I talked a little about this idea here. After the wedding all of the family and friends leave town and the gifts slowly stop arriving. If you're lucky, you're left standing beside a partner that fills each day of your marriage with the same sense of love and support as your wedding day.
Sometimes when the thing that we anticipated for so long finally arrives we lose sight of the excitement we once held. Like a child on Christmas who has finished opening all of their gifts. What's next? I think we are presented with a choice. We can start the 364 day count down until next Christmas or we can take the time to revel in the gifts that we were just given.
I try to approach each day of our marriage with the same sense of wonder as we held before our wedding. It's not always easy. To take notice of the subtle (and not so subtle) changes we have made as individuals and as a couple. To celebrate one another. There in lies the work of a marriage.
Some days feel more like work than others. If you're lucky though, each day feels fulfilling. Feels worth it. Our marriage has been a road full of twists and turns that I never could have anticipated.
This morning, Jake wrote to me in an anniversary card, "Keep following your dreams. I'm just happy to be along for the ride". I feel the same way. So happy to have the best man I've ever known riding along side of me.